So, I went and watched Allied. Sweeping romance or Shot down dead?


After successfully performing an assassination on a high ranking nazi officer, two undercover officers from different sides of the pond fall for eachother. Until a German bug intervenes.


When it comes to the awards season, war movies are a fairly safe bet. Think of last year when we had Bridge Of Spies and the year before that we had The Imitation Game. Much like movies about slavery and Hollywood itself, a decent war movie is guaranteed a few nods.

So here comes Allied, the latest movie to sound like a geordie voicing his unfaithfulness.(I’m back with the terrible puns, watch out!)


This is the latest film to be directed by Robert Zemeckis, the director of Forrest Gump, Cast Away and Flight. I’m not reading off of the poster… I’m not.

In this fairly dry year for movies, we haven’t yet had many movies that I would consider “Academy grade.” I can only think of a few movies that may be involved in this year’s proceeding, those being: Arrival, Kubo & The Two Strings and Nocturnal Animals(maybe.)


And, unfortunately, Allied will not be joining that list.


Allied is not an irredeemable movie. The film is directed well, the scenes flow together, clearly created by the narrative. I don’t think that Zemeckis could make a terrible movie, just one that withers against expectations.

Cotillard gives the best performance in this movie, by far. She has a certain weathered femme fetale with her personality, which contrasted against Pitt’s uncertain, subtly stoic personality.




You would think that a film with this cast, this director and some of the best names of Hollywood from behind the screen, that you would have a decent script. No. Oh boy no. Steven Knight penned Allied’s script, which I could only have assumed that Paramount gave him a few weeks before draft. This film has some of the worst dialogue of the entire year, it revels in the creaky and cliche.

Characters will be introduced in the most obvious of ways. As in, a character will be introduced who is so obviously guilty, that they induce sighs of unexpected uproar, just like every villain in Scooby Doo.

For a director who has a huge back catalogue of films with spectacular visual effects, it is quite astonishing that the visual effects in Allied can only be described as “Advanced Amateur of Adobe After Effects.” Things don’t look real, the actors don’t look like they are in a real world. Visual effects are something that span a wide spectrum: Going from films that are knowingly unrealistic like Beowulf to films that stand still in the uncanny valley like The Walk. Allied is far from either, presenting some of the weakest and least defined imagery and models to be put in a major film for a very long time.


Allied, a film that could have been so much more.



One thought on “GALLANT REVIEW: Allied.

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