Relight My Fire, Johnny Blaze, Little Inferno, ALL THE FIRE PUNS!

Welcome to another episode of Brucie’s Price Is Right.

 

You’ll have forgive me for slipping up the intro, I’ve been feeling really hot-headed lately.(I have started with the puns, tremble in fear.)

 

So why have I created this post, why am I burning a hole through the tonal consistency of this blog?

 

Well, it has come to my attention that another video game will be adapted onto the big screen. Only, this game is quite a lot smaller than those that have already been adapted.

tomb-raider

When this is by far the best piece of a genre, that genre must be pretty diabolical.

 

The next gaming IP to be churned out to the masses is… Firewatch.

steve harvey.gif

God bless Steve Harvey.

 

As it may be quite obvious by now, I am quite entranced by the art of film. That’s what I want to do; I want to make films, but that’s for another blog for another day.

 

If you have played Firewatch, then you know that the visuals are by far the best part of the game.

Image result for firewatch screenshotsImage result for firewatch screenshots

The game is bolstered together by these rustic and meltingly melancholy scenic landscapes. If nothing else about the film adaptation, it will look fantastic.

 

 

The burning issue with the Firewatch adaptation, and the reason that I have wrote this blog, is because this is might just be the first video game adaptation that I can’t understand why is exists(Or will exist, as it were.)

 

It has been painfully proven that the vast majority of video game adaptations rake in the big bucks.

Image result for uwe boll

RIP.

 

Currently, the second highest grossing video game adaptation is The Angry Birds Movie. I’ll let you in on a lil’ secret, I have a big long list of all the films I see in a year, along side their rating, there are currently 98 films on this list. There are two films that I have rated lower than The Angry Birds Movie, it is that bad. Only the disgusting antics of a desperate Sasha Baron Cohen and the utterly, en-ragingly inept youster that a YouTube channel who had to claw in The Slow Mo Guys in a last-ditch attempt to stay relevant.(I’m calm, I’m calm.) What I am trying to say is; video games don’t transfer well to movies.

 

Firewatch is a game that straddles a long time line. I don’t mean this in the style of something like Interstellar, where the story requires a long time line for it to work. The way Firewatch is structured has you leaping and jumping from day-to-day, occasionally leaping months. Films are structured with acts, similarly to a play, often films follow the structure of: Set up, Conflict, Resolution. This is a general guide to structure and pacing, something that can really help bring a film together.

Take the film Taken:

Daughter has a birthday party and flies off to Paris. Set up.

Daughter is kidnapped. Conflict.

Liam Neeson kills people. Resolution.

The entirety of Taken covers a few days, in order to enrichen the tone and grandeur of the film.

I feel as if the Firewatch adaptation would have a set up with covered about a week. Then the conflict would take up about six months, then be conluded in ten minutes.

 

Also, why Firewatch of all things? Most video game adaptations are from big, high scale games like Warcraft and Prince Of Persia.(You forgot about that one, didn’t you?) By no means is Firewatch a big, high scale game. I can’t see the studio’s decision to flood a lot of money into this project. The studio in question happens to be a company called: Good Universe. You may remember them from such productions as Bad Neighbours and Sausage Party. So, a game with a small following about loneliness and loss is being adapted by people known for raunchy comedies… and will probably star Seth Rogen. Ugh.

 

I guess I’ll just stay home and watch Blue Valentine again, keep my spirits up.

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